Emotional Affairs – On The Rise?
In today’s technological age, emotional affairs are becoming an ever more troublesome relationship problem. Cell phones, email, computers, and the Internet have made it easier and easier to communicate discreetly with people around the globe.
Unlike a sexual affair where it is necessary for two people to meet to carry out the physical act, emotional affairs can occur with someone completely on the other side of the country or even in a different country. With advances in technology, your spouse can spill their heart and share their most intimate thoughts and feelings with anyone, anywhere, anytime.
With this in mind, emotional affairs and emotional cheating are, in many ways, even more devastating to a relationship than physical affairs. There are several reasons for this.
First, emotional infidelity is elusive in nature. When your partner has a sexual fling with someone, it’s pretty cut and dry as to whether or not they cheated. And, when they do, you’re put in a situation to make the decision to leave or try and repair the relationship.
But where are the boundaries drawn with an emotional affair? At what point does a friendship turn into emotional cheating? What has to be said and what feelings have to be shared to make it “cheating” versus communication or “confiding in a friend”. It’s a much more difficult situation to get a firm hold on emotionally.
Second, since nothing physical has actually happened with an emotional affair, it becomes almost impossible to accuse, confront, or prove anything. But, that doesn’t make the feelings of loss and betrayal any less devastating. Emotional cheating can tear you up on the inside because it can be difficult to gauge exactly what’s going on and exactly how your spouse feels about the other person.
Technology has given people the opportunity to be anonymous, which allows them to be open and vulnerable. It’s often easier to share intimate thoughts, problems, and desires with someone when there are no strings attached. And being able to let go and express oneself can lead to the very bond at the heart of emotional affairs.
Ultimately, emotional affairs come down to a discussion between you and your lover. There are no black and white lines like there are with a physical/sexual affair. It’s all a gray area. Therefore, it’s up to YOU to decide what is acceptable and what is not.
If your spouse is going to someone else for emotional support, then problems exist in your relationship that need solved. There’s likely a reason your spouse feels they can’t come to you. Perhaps they feel judgment from you. Perhaps they feel you will explode in anger and not really listen. Perhaps they’re having feelings they don’t think you would truly understand.
Regardless, any emotional affair that robs your relationship of trust, intimacy, and the close bond that should be reserved only for husband and wife is one that needs dealt with.
If your relationship is suffering from an affair, emotional or otherwise, professional help is available. Dr. Frank Gunzburg has over 30 years experience helping couples survive affairs and improve their relationships. His 21 day spontaneous healing plan is a great place to start gaining control of your emotions and figuring out where to go from here.
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