Emotional Affair Recovery – Your First Step
Emotional affair recovery is an extremely difficult situation for many people. Most people don’t want their relationships and marriages to end. They want to work things out. They want to make things better than before. But most people simply don’t know where to start when it comes to healing after an affair.
If your heart is currently being torn apart by your partner having an emotional affair, sexual affair, or both, know you are not alone…even if it feels like you are.
The feelings of anger, shock, betrayal, anxiety, sadness, and helplessness can be extremely overwhelming when dealing with infidelity in marriage.
In his highly recommended online course, “How To Survive An Affair”, marriage counselor, Dr. Frank Gunzburg, states, “One of the most common reactions people have when they find out their loved one has cheated on them is a sense of aloneness. The person who has been injured by the affair often thinks, “Why me? Among all the people in the world, why did this happen to me?”
Infidelity in marriage happens more often than you might think. Although reliable infidelity statistics can be difficult to come by, one thing’s for sure: you are not alone if your relationship has been shattered by an affair.
Infidelity Statistics – Who’s Having Affairs?
According to the Associated Press, about 22% of men and 14% of women admit to having extramarital sexual affairs. When you throw emotional cheating, online affairs, and internet infidelity into the equation, the numbers can become quite staggering. Also, about 17% of divorces in the United States are directly tied to an affair.
Although these statistics may be alarming, they aren’t meant to dampen your spirits or make you lose hope. Thousands of people suffer through infidelity every single day, but many of these learn how to recover from an affair and make their relationships even better than before.
It’s all about taking the right steps in the right order. Dr. Gunzburg’s, “21-Step Spontaneous Healing Plan” is a vital first step for both the cheater and the injured.
Recovering From An Affair – It Starts With You
If you want to survive an affair, this will be one of the most important points to keep in mind: the healing process starts with YOU. Too many people make the mistake of not understanding this and throw their relationships under the bus with little chance of repair.
When an affair happens, most people do what Dr. Gunzburg refers to as “externalizing”. This is the process by which the injured party starts to look for reasons why the affair occurred. It involves looking outside of yourself for answers to emotional problems that are happening inside of you. It is characterized by questions like:
- What were the details of the affair? What exactly happened?
- Why did my partner cheat on me?
- Will I ever be able to trust my partner again?
- Are they in love with this other person?
These questions will all get answered in time, but they are counterproductive at the beginning of the healing process. People externalize because they falsely believe knowing the “reason” for the affair will help them heal. As Dr. Gunzburg’s research over the past 30 years has proven, this is rarely the best course of action to take.
When you’re trying to learn how to get over an emotional affair, or any other affair for that matter, you must first look inside yourself and cope with your own troubling thoughts and feelings. Only then will you be in a state of mind to work on recovering from an affair.
Physical And Emotional Affair Recovery – 9 Questions You Probably Want Answers To
After helping thousands of couples over the past 30 years, Dr. Gunzburg has identified 9 questions you’re likely to struggle with immediately after an affair. Understanding these questions can help you gain control of your own inner emotional turmoil and learn how to deal with infidelity in a positive way. They are:
- How could this happen?
- How long has this been going on without me knowing about it?
- How many people know about it?
- How could my partner do this to me?
- How can I ever trust my partner again?
- Have there been other affairs or is this it?
- Am I overreacting?
- Am I being a doormat?
- Does this mean the relationship I’ve worked so hard to build is over?
As you start to work on healing after an affair, you’ll be consumed by emotions. Learning how to control these emotions can be the key to reaching a point where you’re able to discuss the affair with your partner in a meaningful way that will lead to a stronger bond and more love at the end of the recovery process. The 4 emotions you should be most concerned with (what Dr. Gunzburg calls “Monster Emotions”) are jealousy, uncertainty, shame, and loss of hope.
Looking for reasons the affair happened at this early stage of the affair recovery process will be of little benefit. That will all come later.
Details of the affair can be extremely painful, and right now you’re probably not in the right frame of mind to deal with this in a productive manner. In all likelihood, it will only make you feel worse. Also keep in mind, many times you won’t get the answers you’re looking for anyway, eg. the “reason” emotional cheating or a physical affair happened.
Your emotions, whether good or bad, positive or negative, are yours and yours alone. Coming to grips with these should be your first step in emotional affair recovery. Everything else can wait because learning how to survive an affair depends on it.
Always remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Healing after infidelity is never easy, but things do get better. Click here to learn more about Dr. Gunzburg’s uncensored and ground breaking affair research.
Tagged with: dealing with infidelity in marriage • emotional affair • emotional affair recovery • emotional affairs • emotional cheating • healing after an affair • how to recover from an affair • how to survive an affair • infidelity in marriage
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